you can't get nearer than this

battles of mind and heart

when the mind and the heart doesn’t sing to the same tune, the whole situation of a dilemma arises inside me.

i’m beginning to question my inner self, compared to what is portrayed to the world, and even to myself on the whole. do i see myself as what others look upon me as, or otherwise..?

if this entire thing is a facade, i’m merely letting my true self slowly fade away and lose the identity of my own perspective of daryl. Who is daryl, What is he?

with that, i question my nature on its own. the nature that derives the thoughts and actions daily. the nature that causes me to thinking of becoming a devil and feeling like an angel.

i’m losing myself, and i have to start making up my idea before it’s too late. then again, what will my ideas be based on..? mind thoughts or heart gut feelings..?

i don’t know, really.

please enlighten me and guide me through, hold my hands and walk this arduous journey of making the right decisions.

my pleasure i hope.

my oh my!

I’m starting to lose hope in myself, I just do not know how to bring it across to release the knot in my heart.

in rather that I forgo this total opportunity, my take would be to remain in whatever situation that I’m in now. I’m no adventurous hero in such instances, neither am I willing to let myself fail or just lose it wholesome.

not in any mood to see for myself what lies in front of me, better still it’s a total translucent front, taking a step at a time.

strike when the opportunity arrive.. only to regret that it wasn’t the right one for yourself.

i’m still waiting..

forward looking

seems like working days and off days enter and exit my life so fast that my heart can’t correspond fast enough, whether to feel glad that off is coming or disappointed that work is coming as well.

ive learnt to stay focal on the upcoming happenings, be it +ve or -ve

• meet ups with friends +ve
• mahjongs +ve
• hari raya -ve (cos tight manpower shit)
• F1 -ve (workload is crazy)
• firewalking -ve (the 15 hour deployment)
• nike human race +ve
• APEC +ve/-ve (depending on who and what i’m doing)
• ORD!

Shall keep my mindset forward looking, and hopefully no more emo-ness and murderous thoughts..

Get your credits right

Pisses me off when people start to work and craft their way of handling stuffs in accordance of how credits will ultimately bestow them.

While the main purpose was to improve work efficiency and diligence, mind you it’s work..!

Screw off, want to earn recognition and credits go somewhere else!